A collection of memories and reflections from my trip to Italy in May.
"That's one hell of a graduation present."
The idea of going to Italy was conceived in March as I sat at the table at my family friend’s 18th birthday party. The trip was executed in May after classes ended and right before my college graduation with a girl from Florida who I met through a solo woman traveler Facebook group. My friends who I would have wanted to go with were not available. I figured that if I’m always waiting on someone else’s timeline that I would never go.
My blood, sweat, and tears went into this trip. Literally.
I cried four times on the day of my departure from pure nerves. The tears were accumulating for days prior, so I let them fall as the view of my dad shrunk in the rearview mirror. In the car, I laughed in between sniffles through the fear of being scammed or pickpocketed. Tears returned as my sister and best friend dropped me off at the airport and they hugged me goodbye. And, there was one last time on the phone with my aunt, before I went through security, as she spoke words of encouragement.
Just a week before I left, I was crying to my cousins, feeling hopeless in the job hunt. I’m good about not comparing myself to my peers. Instead, it was about reconciling where I am in comparison to where I want to be and where I thought I would be at that point in time, meaning employed. As an overachiever in college, jobs and leadership opportunities came easily to me. I’ve been learning the hard way that that is not necessarily the case in the real world. I’ve completely fallen victim to hustle culture and capitalism. The concern became surrounded around how could I enjoy Italy when my future at home seemed so unsure?
Ultimately, Italy was life changing. Cliché to say, I know. To me, going to Italy wasn’t about the food or the sights (although they were absolutely incredible). Traveling to a foreign country for the first time ever and by myself, meeting new people, and being immersed in a different culture gave me so much perspective to truly live in the moment and let go of the little stressors. When I got back, I felt happier, more positive, and in a much better headspace.
In Italy, I was spontaneous. I got a tattoo in Milan that I planned only five days ahead of my arrival. I stayed out late one night to get drinks with a hot British doctor I met in Venice. I navigated through Rome under the blazing sun with no set direction.
When I told my high school health teacher of some of my adventures, he commented on how I used to be the quiet girl in the back of class and look at me now.
I hope to always hold onto that confident and free-spirited version of myself.
Since being back, I graduated from college. It was a great day spent with family. Oddly, it didn't feel as momentous considering that I had been done with classes for two weeks and I had just gotten back from Italy.
The job hunt has resumed, but I’m ok with the fact that I don’t know exactly where I’m going to land yet. I don’t want to live my life to work. This realization hit me while I was in Italy. There is more to life than having a career. I don’t even know if I want to work in event management forever. I've been working since I was 16, pouring so much of myself into jobs that were meant to just help get by. At 22 years old, I'm tired of working and not having enough meaningful experiences.
Going to Italy inspired me to start working on a certification in Teaching English as a Foreign Language. I successfully navigated a foreign country where I barely knew the language, so now I can go anywhere and get a job if I want. The world is so big and I have so much more to explore.
I’m proud of myself for going on this trip and I appreciate those who have shared the same sentiment. I have proved that I can do hard things and that I can do them alone. Italy will always have a special place in my heart and I look forward to seeing where life takes me next.